Georgia??
GEORGIA???????
I had my doubts before, but now Im sure there's no God.
I just cant even talk about this right now.
Fuck.
Peace and Love
Stay Classy
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
But thats alright because I like the way it hurts
I have not been able to stop listening to "Love The Way You Lie" By Eminem and Rhianna lately. Like, I have it on repeat right now, just listening to it over and over again. Theres just something about this song that really speaks to me...or something. I really love it.
So. Things that have been stressing me out lately:
-school(Thats the biggest one)
-jobs(Improving, had an interview today that I think went pretty well, but still)
-body(Ive started a new workout regiem, and Ive been better about my diet, but until I see some real improvements this one is a biggie)
-boys(They suck. Hard)
All of those rolled into one, all at once is quite annoying, it really annoys me and stresses me out and makes me pissed off, because right now I feel as if I have no real control over those aspects of my life, and I do not like that.
But since I have no control over those parts of my life, I focus on the other parts that I do, for the most part, have control over. Like my social life and who I become better friends with and who I dont (although that part also seems to be out of my control lately too, see "boys" on list of things that stress me out). These past few weeks Ive been having some really good times out with my friends, its been making me really happy, and relaxed, and being out for the whole night, just having a good time, going crazy and not thinking really helps me forget about all the things that are not going the way I planned in my life. And I really really appretiate that. Most nights when I get home Im too tired to do anything but take out my contacts and crash in bed, let alone think about shit.
Its so helpful.
On a less depressing note....
Ordered my new iPod Touch a few days ago as an early bday present from my mom!!! It should (keep your fingers crossed all) be here before we leave for maine next thursday. I am soooo excited for it :)
But I think thats all for now, Im going to go facebook creep for a bit, then crash, Im pretty damn tired tonight and my muscles, especially my shoulder blades are sore from boxing and learning to fight proper and shit.
But its a good hurt.
Peace and Love
Stay Classy
So. Things that have been stressing me out lately:
-school(Thats the biggest one)
-jobs(Improving, had an interview today that I think went pretty well, but still)
-body(Ive started a new workout regiem, and Ive been better about my diet, but until I see some real improvements this one is a biggie)
-boys(They suck. Hard)
All of those rolled into one, all at once is quite annoying, it really annoys me and stresses me out and makes me pissed off, because right now I feel as if I have no real control over those aspects of my life, and I do not like that.
But since I have no control over those parts of my life, I focus on the other parts that I do, for the most part, have control over. Like my social life and who I become better friends with and who I dont (although that part also seems to be out of my control lately too, see "boys" on list of things that stress me out). These past few weeks Ive been having some really good times out with my friends, its been making me really happy, and relaxed, and being out for the whole night, just having a good time, going crazy and not thinking really helps me forget about all the things that are not going the way I planned in my life. And I really really appretiate that. Most nights when I get home Im too tired to do anything but take out my contacts and crash in bed, let alone think about shit.
Its so helpful.
On a less depressing note....
Ordered my new iPod Touch a few days ago as an early bday present from my mom!!! It should (keep your fingers crossed all) be here before we leave for maine next thursday. I am soooo excited for it :)
But I think thats all for now, Im going to go facebook creep for a bit, then crash, Im pretty damn tired tonight and my muscles, especially my shoulder blades are sore from boxing and learning to fight proper and shit.
But its a good hurt.
Peace and Love
Stay Classy
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Please and Thank Youuuu
Dear Financial Gods-
I would very much LOVE an iPod Touch and my nose pierced ASAP. Please go forth and make it so.
XOXO
Peace and Love
Stay Classy
I would very much LOVE an iPod Touch and my nose pierced ASAP. Please go forth and make it so.
XOXO
Peace and Love
Stay Classy
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I really have been meaning to write in here lately, I swear. Ive just been rather lazy these past weeks. Such is the curse of the unemployed...Also not my fault, Ive put in applications everywhere I could possibly think, even places I really dont want to work. But no one is hiring now...so annoying and inconvenient. But now to update you all on whats been happening since I last wrote, which could turn this into a rather long post, sorry. Lets start with last monday when Katie, Sarah and I went to Rhode Island for the night to visit Sarahs boyfriend Greg and hit up the RI beaches.
It was mad fun, we drove up in the morning, got to Gregs house by noon-ish, hung around there for a bout an hour, then headed over to Misquamget Beach, or how ever the hell you spell it and did a little shopping. I bought a really cute Sex On The Beach (my fave drink) shot glass, which still has to be broken in....then spent the rest of the afternoon at the beach. Around 4-ish we head back to Gregs house and clean up, Katie and I took a shower in our bathing suits together lol, then drove over to Stop and Shop to buy food to grill for dinner, making a muuucccchhhhh needed stop and a Dells stand :D God I love and missed that stuff. Sooo delicious. We bought Sougies, the most delicious hot dogs I have ever eaten before, and some other things for dinner, head back to the house and Greg grills them up. I have to say...one of the most fun dinners Ive had in a while, hot dogs and champagne for dinner lol :)Then we watch The House Bunny and chill for a bit, we were all pretty tired so we went to sleep. The next morning we drive back to CT bc katie had work at 4. It was a really fun mini vacation.
Ok, so last Thursday I went out with Katie for the night, and we met up with her friend James, and he brought a friend, Zack. We all went down to the lake at the end of Lake Garda and chilled and drank and it was alot of fun, James and Katie are so cute together and Zack was really cool and cute, I liked him and we hit it off. At the end of the night he gives me his number and I text him when I get home and we text back and forth for the rest of the night, and we flirted a bunch. He told me how he wanted to kiss me that night, but thought that it would be too much since we just met. Then the next night Katie texts me saying the boys want to hang out again, so we all go out and back to the Lake....the night started off really good, it was me, Katie, James and Zack, and one of their friends, I dont remember his name but he was cool. We chilled on a picnic table and drank again. But since I wasnt driving like the night before, Zack picked us all up, I decided I could drink more. Well, the brandy we were drinking was really strong. The boys warned us the night before that itll just all hit you out of no where and fuck you up. Well thats what happened to me, I drank a little too much, it all hit me at once and I blacked out for the rest of the night.....ended up not being the best night, which really sucks because it started out so well. Zack and I finally kissed, and hes a good kisser too lol, and we were all having so much fun, even had a really nice cop stop by, ask us about some fireworks that were going off on the other side of the lake, chat with us a bit, then told us to have a good night and left. Then I started to get a little drunker...then got even more drunk....the next thing I know its almost 2 in the morning, Im back in my room fucked up and falling into my closet while trying to get undressed and into bed, reassuring Katie on facebook that I got home ok. Shit happened that night, and I was sooooo drunk, I wish I could appologize to Zack for how retarded I was, but after that first night something got messed up with our phones and we cant text each other, which was our only form or communication since he deactivated his FB. I also lost my phone, ipod, chapstck and lotion that night. My phone was found and returned to my the next night at Katies birthday dinner, my lotion apparently is in Zacks car, but my ipod and chapstick never got found. Im so fucking upset, my ipod is so important to me, and now its gone because I was so retarded that night. And now I have no idea what Zack thinks of me now, Ive tried texting him, but its still messed up and I cant send the texts. I really want to apologize to him, but I cant. He probably doesnt want to see me again, which I understand and am fine with. I would feel to stupid around him after that. Oh well, I highly doubt I will ever see him again, like ever, I just have a feeling about that. Which makes me kinda sad since I did like him, but at the same time is probably for the better. Ugh, oh well, onto happier topics please-->
Saturday was Katies 20th birthday (woo!) so a bunch of us went to Green Tea for dinner, back to Katies house for dessert and birthday shots :) then out to New Haven to Alchemy for her birthday. It was such a fun night! Now, Derek works as a promoter for Alchemy, and I knew he would be there that night because I knew he was promoting the White Party they were having. So were there for about 30-40 minutes, waiting for the place to fill up and looking for the promoter Katie talked to bc we were promised wrist bands and a bottle of champagne that we never got :(, and I was praying that I wouldnt see him that night. Not 15 minutes after I say that to Katie, who should walk buy me with some ugly drunk girl being dragged behind him? Yuppp, thats right. Oh god...so many emotions raced through my mind the moment I saw him. All of them some form of nausea or loathing. I immediately pointed him out to Katie and Mike and Alex and Joanna who were standing with me, Mike commmented that he kinda looked like Edward ScissorHands, which made me laugh because that is kinda what his "new hair style" looked like. He looked so retarded lol. So my friends and I spent the rest of the night laughing at his feeble attempts to get girls, while I was having and amazing time with all my friends and had Mike with his arm around me and trailing ice cubes down my arms and across my chest to help me cool down hahaha. Ohhhhh sweet winning :) It was sooo pathetic, he kept trying to get girls to dance with him, and he kept getting denied by everyone, even the really drunk ones bahahah. A few times when we were up in the upstairs club, Elevate at our reserved table and couches watching the awesome European guys and the crazy girl on ecstacy dance on that floor, a few times when he was in front of my on the floor he tried to grab this drunk girl he kept dragging around and make out with her, and she kept denying him. It was wonderful lol. Ohhh, you know how after you break up with someone there is an unspoken "winner" and "loser"? I'm the winner...there is no doubt about it. At all. Hahahahahhaha :D
Now its Wednesday, not a lot happened, mom and I went to Khols, I got two new basic camis (one white, one black) which I needed, and some new sunglasses, which I really needed and we went to Ben and Jerrys and tried their new "Joe" drink, which is a like coffee ice cream smoothie, verryyy yummy :) it all put me in a good mood. The this weekend I am, hopefully with Katie and Sarah, going up to New Hampshire to the cottage that Alexs family owns on a lake, and its going to be us, Greg, Alex and a bunch of his friends, some of whom I know too and were just going to hang by the lake by day, and drink by night for a whole weekend, Im really looking forward to it.
Im pretty sure thats all the big things that are happening or have happened in my life right now, give or take.
Wow, this has been a very good venting session, I just got it all out of my head, where its all been driving me crazy lately. Yayyyy blog!! :)
Ok, off to go entertain my self on facebook. Talk to you all next time I decide to write again loves!!
Peace and Love
Stay Classy
It was mad fun, we drove up in the morning, got to Gregs house by noon-ish, hung around there for a bout an hour, then headed over to Misquamget Beach, or how ever the hell you spell it and did a little shopping. I bought a really cute Sex On The Beach (my fave drink) shot glass, which still has to be broken in....then spent the rest of the afternoon at the beach. Around 4-ish we head back to Gregs house and clean up, Katie and I took a shower in our bathing suits together lol, then drove over to Stop and Shop to buy food to grill for dinner, making a muuucccchhhhh needed stop and a Dells stand :D God I love and missed that stuff. Sooo delicious. We bought Sougies, the most delicious hot dogs I have ever eaten before, and some other things for dinner, head back to the house and Greg grills them up. I have to say...one of the most fun dinners Ive had in a while, hot dogs and champagne for dinner lol :)Then we watch The House Bunny and chill for a bit, we were all pretty tired so we went to sleep. The next morning we drive back to CT bc katie had work at 4. It was a really fun mini vacation.
Ok, so last Thursday I went out with Katie for the night, and we met up with her friend James, and he brought a friend, Zack. We all went down to the lake at the end of Lake Garda and chilled and drank and it was alot of fun, James and Katie are so cute together and Zack was really cool and cute, I liked him and we hit it off. At the end of the night he gives me his number and I text him when I get home and we text back and forth for the rest of the night, and we flirted a bunch. He told me how he wanted to kiss me that night, but thought that it would be too much since we just met. Then the next night Katie texts me saying the boys want to hang out again, so we all go out and back to the Lake....the night started off really good, it was me, Katie, James and Zack, and one of their friends, I dont remember his name but he was cool. We chilled on a picnic table and drank again. But since I wasnt driving like the night before, Zack picked us all up, I decided I could drink more. Well, the brandy we were drinking was really strong. The boys warned us the night before that itll just all hit you out of no where and fuck you up. Well thats what happened to me, I drank a little too much, it all hit me at once and I blacked out for the rest of the night.....ended up not being the best night, which really sucks because it started out so well. Zack and I finally kissed, and hes a good kisser too lol, and we were all having so much fun, even had a really nice cop stop by, ask us about some fireworks that were going off on the other side of the lake, chat with us a bit, then told us to have a good night and left. Then I started to get a little drunker...then got even more drunk....the next thing I know its almost 2 in the morning, Im back in my room fucked up and falling into my closet while trying to get undressed and into bed, reassuring Katie on facebook that I got home ok. Shit happened that night, and I was sooooo drunk, I wish I could appologize to Zack for how retarded I was, but after that first night something got messed up with our phones and we cant text each other, which was our only form or communication since he deactivated his FB. I also lost my phone, ipod, chapstck and lotion that night. My phone was found and returned to my the next night at Katies birthday dinner, my lotion apparently is in Zacks car, but my ipod and chapstick never got found. Im so fucking upset, my ipod is so important to me, and now its gone because I was so retarded that night. And now I have no idea what Zack thinks of me now, Ive tried texting him, but its still messed up and I cant send the texts. I really want to apologize to him, but I cant. He probably doesnt want to see me again, which I understand and am fine with. I would feel to stupid around him after that. Oh well, I highly doubt I will ever see him again, like ever, I just have a feeling about that. Which makes me kinda sad since I did like him, but at the same time is probably for the better. Ugh, oh well, onto happier topics please-->
Saturday was Katies 20th birthday (woo!) so a bunch of us went to Green Tea for dinner, back to Katies house for dessert and birthday shots :) then out to New Haven to Alchemy for her birthday. It was such a fun night! Now, Derek works as a promoter for Alchemy, and I knew he would be there that night because I knew he was promoting the White Party they were having. So were there for about 30-40 minutes, waiting for the place to fill up and looking for the promoter Katie talked to bc we were promised wrist bands and a bottle of champagne that we never got :(, and I was praying that I wouldnt see him that night. Not 15 minutes after I say that to Katie, who should walk buy me with some ugly drunk girl being dragged behind him? Yuppp, thats right. Oh god...so many emotions raced through my mind the moment I saw him. All of them some form of nausea or loathing. I immediately pointed him out to Katie and Mike and Alex and Joanna who were standing with me, Mike commmented that he kinda looked like Edward ScissorHands, which made me laugh because that is kinda what his "new hair style" looked like. He looked so retarded lol. So my friends and I spent the rest of the night laughing at his feeble attempts to get girls, while I was having and amazing time with all my friends and had Mike with his arm around me and trailing ice cubes down my arms and across my chest to help me cool down hahaha. Ohhhhh sweet winning :) It was sooo pathetic, he kept trying to get girls to dance with him, and he kept getting denied by everyone, even the really drunk ones bahahah. A few times when we were up in the upstairs club, Elevate at our reserved table and couches watching the awesome European guys and the crazy girl on ecstacy dance on that floor, a few times when he was in front of my on the floor he tried to grab this drunk girl he kept dragging around and make out with her, and she kept denying him. It was wonderful lol. Ohhh, you know how after you break up with someone there is an unspoken "winner" and "loser"? I'm the winner...there is no doubt about it. At all. Hahahahahhaha :D
Now its Wednesday, not a lot happened, mom and I went to Khols, I got two new basic camis (one white, one black) which I needed, and some new sunglasses, which I really needed and we went to Ben and Jerrys and tried their new "Joe" drink, which is a like coffee ice cream smoothie, verryyy yummy :) it all put me in a good mood. The this weekend I am, hopefully with Katie and Sarah, going up to New Hampshire to the cottage that Alexs family owns on a lake, and its going to be us, Greg, Alex and a bunch of his friends, some of whom I know too and were just going to hang by the lake by day, and drink by night for a whole weekend, Im really looking forward to it.
Im pretty sure thats all the big things that are happening or have happened in my life right now, give or take.
Wow, this has been a very good venting session, I just got it all out of my head, where its all been driving me crazy lately. Yayyyy blog!! :)
Ok, off to go entertain my self on facebook. Talk to you all next time I decide to write again loves!!
Peace and Love
Stay Classy
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
If I were a real Lady, I would refrain from kicking you in the balls...good thing Im not a real Lady
Ok, seriously? Let me just say: YES, I KNOW I have gained some weight lately! You really think you needed to inform me of this? Like I wasnt already aware? Not only are you people (god help me if I ever find out who you really are...damn anonymous comments on formspring...) so fucking rude, but you are also incredibly retarded. I am working on taking the stupid weight off, but thats rather difficult when you are stressed out of your fucking mind, and have been for over a month now, and happen to be a stress eater. Being depressed never helps that either. OH! And having your entire back burnt to a crisp so you cant do the crunches you do everyday. I dunno about you, but those factors would hinder any weight loss planned, dont you think? And to the fucktards who posted those two comments on my formspring, which I immediately deleted, how about you stop being such pussies, get off stupid anonymous websites and say that shit to my face so I can promptly punch you in the jaw for being little bitchy assholes?
Just wanted to say thanks for ruining my day even more than it already was. You guys are awesome.
Peace and Love
Stay Classy
Just wanted to say thanks for ruining my day even more than it already was. You guys are awesome.
Peace and Love
Stay Classy
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
So uncalled for
Well bloggers, my curse of fair skin and sunburns continues. My entire back, save for where my bikini top tied and the top of my bottom were, is BRIGHT red! So very very painful....very painful. Apparently whoever I trusted to do my back at the beach yesterday did not do a very good job..at all. But it was totally her fault, those spray on sunscreens dont work as well as well as the lotion I was using on the rest of my body. So now I carry a bottle of aloe gel with me around the house and wince in pain with just about ever movement. Aahhh summer...
Although, I got burned so bad its actually making me a bit sick. My mom was putting more aloe on my back last night before she went to sleep, and while I was standing up,I started to feel kinda sick, and I got really lightheaded and had to sit down on my bed for a while. Awesome. Oh well, Ill be all better soon and then my biggest worry will be how to straighten out this burn tan. And I just fixed my last one...dammit.
Been getting really into 5 Finger Death Punch lately (thank you Alex), they are quickly becoming one of my favorite bands, without a doubt. I sooo need to put both albums on my ipod, and soon. But that requires going through my library, yet again, and deleting any songs I think I wont listen to anymore because about 2 months back I finally ran out of room on my ipod...so sad. And I just dont think I can manage to delete 28 songs to make room for both cds....plus I finally managed to find a position where I can sit up with my back against my pillows and it doesnt hurt. Hell no am I getting up and looking for my ipod then coming back and having to find that position again. That would hurt, and most likely be unsuccessful.
Ill do it some other time, because I really want these songs on my ipod.
But I am sooo tired. My insomnia has been in full swing lately. Sunday night I had to force myself to try and go to sleep around 2-ish in the morning, because Sarah Katie and I were leaving for the beach early on Monday, and I was getting up at 7. I dont know when I actually managed to fall asleep, but it wasnt quickly. Last night I was so drained from the sun and my burn and feeling sick, I managed to fall asleep around 10:30 (I was shocked), but my back hurt so bad it kept waking me up, and I couldnt fall back to sleep after I woke up around 9 this morning, so I am sooo tired.
But thats all I have to say right now interneters...
Peace and Love
Stay Classy
Although, I got burned so bad its actually making me a bit sick. My mom was putting more aloe on my back last night before she went to sleep, and while I was standing up,I started to feel kinda sick, and I got really lightheaded and had to sit down on my bed for a while. Awesome. Oh well, Ill be all better soon and then my biggest worry will be how to straighten out this burn tan. And I just fixed my last one...dammit.
Been getting really into 5 Finger Death Punch lately (thank you Alex), they are quickly becoming one of my favorite bands, without a doubt. I sooo need to put both albums on my ipod, and soon. But that requires going through my library, yet again, and deleting any songs I think I wont listen to anymore because about 2 months back I finally ran out of room on my ipod...so sad. And I just dont think I can manage to delete 28 songs to make room for both cds....plus I finally managed to find a position where I can sit up with my back against my pillows and it doesnt hurt. Hell no am I getting up and looking for my ipod then coming back and having to find that position again. That would hurt, and most likely be unsuccessful.
Ill do it some other time, because I really want these songs on my ipod.
But I am sooo tired. My insomnia has been in full swing lately. Sunday night I had to force myself to try and go to sleep around 2-ish in the morning, because Sarah Katie and I were leaving for the beach early on Monday, and I was getting up at 7. I dont know when I actually managed to fall asleep, but it wasnt quickly. Last night I was so drained from the sun and my burn and feeling sick, I managed to fall asleep around 10:30 (I was shocked), but my back hurt so bad it kept waking me up, and I couldnt fall back to sleep after I woke up around 9 this morning, so I am sooo tired.
But thats all I have to say right now interneters...
Peace and Love
Stay Classy
Friday, June 4, 2010
My bad :)
Oops, I have written in here in a while, sorry. This is probably going to happen a lot, the long gaps between posts. Summer does that to me sometimes. You would think with my insomnia I get ever frickin summer I would have more posts here...but no.
Anyways....awesome day today. Not. Day started out good. Katie Sarah and I went to Alchemy with Mike last night, that was an epic fail, the club sucked ass, so sarah katie and I just went back to their house and I slept over. Their mommy doesnt know I slept there, they snuck me out once their mom fell asleep this afternoon lol. Then I came home and tanned in the back yard for a bit. I think I actually got some color!! :)
But then....grades were posted yesterday. And my mom made me check them this evening.
I dont know why it upset me so much. Its not like I wasnt expecting it, I KNEW I was going to be on academic dismissal. There hasnt been a question in my mind for like, 2, 2 1/2 months now. But now that its official, and I saw it on my transcript and everything...I dunno...it was hard. I just went upstairs to my room and turned my music on really loud and tried not to think about it.
I promised myself I wouldnt cry, and I did really good until my mom came up to see if I was ok, which I was, again, not like I didnt see it coming. But a few tears did manage to squeeze their way out during that. And after she left it took all my will power to keep those stupid tears back behind my eyes.
Ive just been in a bad mood every since, minus a few moments where I was happy, talking to someone. Ive been stress eating like crazy tonight, I want to shoot myself. I didnt even so my exercises today, and I fucking really need to. Ugghhhh. I just dont care right now. Ill do double tomorrow. Maybe triple, depending on how I feel.
This is just so stupid. I have so much bullshit on my mind right now and its driving me crazy and fucking with my diet. Which I sooooo do not need. Im just so stressed out :(
Oh well, going to go play some solitaire to try and relax.
Peace and Love
Stay Classy
Anyways....awesome day today. Not. Day started out good. Katie Sarah and I went to Alchemy with Mike last night, that was an epic fail, the club sucked ass, so sarah katie and I just went back to their house and I slept over. Their mommy doesnt know I slept there, they snuck me out once their mom fell asleep this afternoon lol. Then I came home and tanned in the back yard for a bit. I think I actually got some color!! :)
But then....grades were posted yesterday. And my mom made me check them this evening.
I dont know why it upset me so much. Its not like I wasnt expecting it, I KNEW I was going to be on academic dismissal. There hasnt been a question in my mind for like, 2, 2 1/2 months now. But now that its official, and I saw it on my transcript and everything...I dunno...it was hard. I just went upstairs to my room and turned my music on really loud and tried not to think about it.
I promised myself I wouldnt cry, and I did really good until my mom came up to see if I was ok, which I was, again, not like I didnt see it coming. But a few tears did manage to squeeze their way out during that. And after she left it took all my will power to keep those stupid tears back behind my eyes.
Ive just been in a bad mood every since, minus a few moments where I was happy, talking to someone. Ive been stress eating like crazy tonight, I want to shoot myself. I didnt even so my exercises today, and I fucking really need to. Ugghhhh. I just dont care right now. Ill do double tomorrow. Maybe triple, depending on how I feel.
This is just so stupid. I have so much bullshit on my mind right now and its driving me crazy and fucking with my diet. Which I sooooo do not need. Im just so stressed out :(
Oh well, going to go play some solitaire to try and relax.
Peace and Love
Stay Classy
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